


Hashtag: "Like a Boss"

by vanillafluffy



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Gen, Mark Watney is a smart-ass, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 01:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10294274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillafluffy/pseuds/vanillafluffy
Summary: Just because he's back on Earth doesn't mean Mark has morphed into a responsible adult. The boss who has to keep an eye on Watney has his work cut out for him.





	

Jeff has a headache, and its name is Mark Watney. When he'd hired the Hero of Mars to teach _Problem Solving for Astronauts_ , he hadn't expected the guy to _be_ a problem. In retrospect, he should have listened to Kapoor, who'd hinted that Watney was "a bit of a maverick". No shit, Sherlock. 

He's paying close attention to the traffic in the hallway outside his office, so when said hero saunters past, Jeff calls out, "Watney!"

People who don't know him probably think that grin of his is boyish and charming, but after almost a year, Jeff knows better. That's the smirk of a congenital smart-ass who likely already knows what he's being stopped for. 

"Good morning, Jeff! How are you doing on this glorious Thursday?"

"You've been stirring up trouble on Twitter again," his boss says, ignoring the greeting. 

Watney beams. "Nah, just having a stimulating exchange of ideas."

Jeff grinds his teeth together. Even now, Watney is newsworthy. His so-called discussions tends to stir up everybody from late night talk show hosts to _Newsweek_. “Could you just stop getting into arguments with Nobel Prize winners on Twitter? Please?”

Mark actually rolls his eyes at the suggestion. "Aw, come on," he says. "It's just Vogel--we've been arguing about the difference between soccer and what he calls 'American football' for-freaking-ever." 

Alex Vogel's work on amino-peptides in reduced gravity had earned him a trip to Stockholm, but apparently he still has enough free time to kibbutz with Watney. Great. And since he's a foreign national no longer under the aegis of NASA, there's zilch Jeff can do to censure him. 

Lewis and Martinez have kept their noses clean and are training as possible crew members for Ares VI, they're no problem. 

The lovebirds, Beck and Johanssen married practically as soon as they'd landed--although Jeff has it on good authority (Kapoor again) that NASA had been in a state when Johansson's tests had shown she'd come back pregnant. They have a daughter now. Beck has a job reviewing medical telemetry coming from the ISS; his boss probably doesn't have to call him on the carpet every other week. In addition to being busy with the baby, Johanssen has a memoir that just came out and is on top of all the bestseller lists. 

But still, it's Watney that the world wants to know about. And part of Jeff's job is to try to preserve the image of NASA and its personnel. "Can't you and Vogel correspond privately?"

"What fun is that?" Mark protests. "Hashtag: 'the other football' has been trending." Jeff rubs his forehead. "It's okay, we can cool it, if it's such a big deal." Thank god, thinks the administrator--but Watney isn't done yet. 

"Chris Beck and I have been going back and forth about our favorite superheroes. He's a stubborn son of a bitch sometimes." Oh shit. That makes the debate on what's football downright scholarly. 

"Yeah," says Watney, slouching toward the hall. "I've been saying all along that Iron Man is the best, but he thinks Captain America is the epitome of awesomeness. Yeah," he beams as he gets out of there, "I'm sure we can get hashtag: 'who's cooler' trending"

...


End file.
